My Daddy and His Battle

Maybe there are people out there wondering, or maybe not, that what happened to my daddy. It took me ages to write this blog. I just don't have the courage to pen (or type) this down. Now I think it's time for me to do so.

In the last quarter of 2013, daddy was complaining of bloatedness. Stomach upset. Altered bowel habits. He was generally feeling unwell. He went to a few doctors, but none able to tell him what was wrong. Their prescriptions just didn't help.
When I finally went home in January 2014 for good, I started to note the changes in daddy. He's thinner. He has a big tummy. Loss of appetite. His mood is up and down. He is generally unwell. Everyone at home is worried but none speak it out except for mommy.
He finally went to another doctor and a clearer diagnosis is shown. Blood test and scans were done. He was referred to specialist in KL. Again, more test, even biopsy was done. Two possibilities, either cancer or extrapulmonary TB. He was started on TB medications for two months.
During second check up, no improvement seen. They decide to put him through more test. Cancer is more likely now. I was worried, but daddy was still so calm, but I know, and can see that deep down in him, he is afraid. He is worried. Yet, he wants to stay strong through this. He wants to keep this out of her daughters worries.
One diagnostic laparoscopic and that's the last time I saw him walking. Reading newspaper. Talking with strength. Chatting with laughter. He looks really ill. Verbal report from doctors showed that daddy isn't well. It is most likely a stage 4 cancer. There's nothing that can be done.

His last words: Goodnight. I'm tired. 

He didn't woke up the next morning. He just continued to sleep and sleep and sleep...
Daddy left us. He returned to our Father's house on 24th May 2014.

It was such a short period of time. Diagnosis to him leaving: 1 week. I was devastated, yet I tried my best putting up my very best side. Mommy was the strongest among us. 

Throughout the night I was with him, I was sleeping at daddy's legs. My heart filled with sorrow. I hated that moment. I hated I had to stay back with mommy to accompany daddy. I cannot explain why. I repeated a same prayer through the night. I felt the angels of God were there. I just didn't know if they're healing him or taking him away. This troubled me for so long, until daddy's memorial service, and God told me why.
Every bit of the memory with him is so precious for me. I'm afraid that I may forget some. Until now, his face, his voice, his words, his teachings, his laugh, his smile, his action, his stubbornness, his everything, is still vividly in my mind.

I miss you my dearest daddy. 

His last CNY. 2014.
Pattern never changed. ;)