Tender Loving Care

Those babies whose breathing aren't adequate and need ventilation or noninvasive positive airway pressure to maintain adequate oxygenation will only have two outcomes: survive or plus (passed away). The few times that i was called to bagging, the babies either got the automatic ventilator ready to be used for them, or the sad truth, plus during my shift to bag. Seeing babies who were so pure, know nothing about this world, came and left in just that split moments, reminds me of one main thing: God's love knows no boundaries.  He loves us all, no matter who we are. He knows us way before we were even formed in our mother's womb. He has a purpose for each and everyone of us here on earth. The least i can do for the babies is to pray for them during my bagging. Life and death lies in God's hand. We might not able to understand His plans, but simply trust in Him!  Isaiah 55:8,9 "For my thoughts are not your thought, neither are your ways my ways," ...

A few days back, i received an apology from a friend of mine for something happened sometime ago, but i've got over it and almost forgotten it. But, receiving the apology makes me review and rethink about myself. Do i have the courage to apologize to someone i hurt? Have i ask for apologies? One incident that vividly haunts me last time when a pastor from Philippines shared about asking forgiveness from the person, no matter how long that incident has happened, led me to ask forgiveness from my dad and mom about something i did. i was an angry girl. i easily got irritated. i showed them no matter what the timing is. That is bad. real bad. Collecting my courage, i picked up the phone and called them after thinking over and over for some time. Tear welled up and fell. but i can say this; i really felt so much better. i learned from it. i felt relieved. And now, the apologies i received made me re-think - did i hurt someone unknowingly? How to apologize? There's so...

When i got text and tweet from my friends from my friends saying that i passed my OSCE Compre i was overwhelmed!!! Like what HY posted in her blogs, the was stages of confusion after getting the results. (you can read her post by clicking here --> HY-I passed! ) i was like her i guess. i needed to see the results with my own eyes. i need to check it. i need confirmation. i need re-confirmation. i went on fb. T hen only i believe! i was glad and was almost dancing around! The next day when i woke up, i was still thinking bout it. Was it real? Or just a dream? i was really happy! My endorphin level was high! i was and am still happy! In my heart, i was relieved and kept saying: finally! yes! i did it! God answered my prayer! Before my OSCE i was busy with my thesis and exams. I was scared that i have not enough time to study and remember what i needed. I prayed. I asked Him for guidance and mercies. I was wondering when will He answer my prayer? Now (passing my OSCE and going into fi...

Now, a new year has begin. You can hear people asking, perhaps not all, about your new year resolutions. So, what is my new year resolution? I wonder... I think at this point the thing that i concern the most is my studies. Not more than that. O, not forget, my family here in Jogja, which i really love and hold on dearly: Daniel Cell Group. Let's start with my studies. Currently last semester before koas (co-assistant)/ clinical years, i have to settle my results, finish my thesis, and go through OSCE Compre. with only 1 month left, i pray and SHOULD work hard to go through all these. Thanks to friends around, thanks to doctors, and most important, my family, who are always there for me. I know i can do it because of you all. I know He is with me all the time. As for cg, i am confused. though i know that everyone has different opinions and point of views, i just can't help to assert mine and keep holding to what i think is the best. As one of the cell group leader, i felt it...

From the conference the other day, the pastor briefly mentioned about grace and mercy of God. The other day when i shared the 2nd half of the conference in cell group, and mentioned about these two elements in forgiveness, everyone is curious about how to differentiate the two. From the pastor, what i understood is: Grace = we got the blessings which we do not deserve Mercy = we were supposed to die but He gave us life (means that He does not punish us for our sin but show compassion) Before our cell group retreat, we prayed for good weather, caused it was cloudy and rainy the past few weeks. He answered our prayer. the two days were sunny and burning hot! This is the grace of God. The unmerited favour. Mercy, is when He forgives us and spare the punishment when we deserve punishment. For me personally, it's a everyday basis. Indirectly and subconsciously, perhaps intentionally, at times, I make wrong and stupid decisions. At this point, I need His mercy to forgive me! Ask for it f...

This one word - HUNGER- scares me a lot. I cannot imagine hunger in any way, as i bet most of you reading this post are as well. Reading the articles about how famine, hunger, poverty are killing children all over the world, especially in Africa, with an ever increasing number day by day, i'm hurt. i'm heart-broken. i'm devastated to help. i felt so much pain all over me. my emotions are disturbed in all aspects. This could not be happening nowadays, especially in this era. But, the reality is, it is. Though eyes might not see, ears might not hear, tongue might not speak about it, but it is happening. All the recent news about hunger finally stir up people from all around the world to notice, donate, and care more about the hungry people outside. I, on the other hand, might not be able to do much to help. There's only one thing i know that i can do, and you as well: PRAY. God will surely send His angels to help. Pray for those charity works going o...

God really answers prayer in His time. He never leaves my side though at times i just can't seem to find Him anywhere close. He sees me through and hear my every single prayer. He guides me and holds me firm all the way. He opens up ways and opportunities and plans in His time. The only thing i could say is: THANK GOD ! Halleluya! Amen!

Just moment ago, i was on Precila's bike to go and collect the comforter and bed sheet i chose and custom made for daddy and mommy. the minute i left my house, i felt few drops of rain on my feet and face. i was nervous that it's going to rain!!! oh no!!! the very first thought: i would be soaked in rain and the comforter might get wet as well if i take them now, though definitely there's cover for it. but but but, the next thing i realize i was doing is "Praying". i was asking God to postpone the rain to after cell group tonight. if it rains now, it's not going to stop any soon of course. hence, i will be soaked in rain again while i'm on my way to cell group. i would say God already showed me half of His promise to not let me soak in rain, because from the time i left till i came back, it did not rain, though the sky is grey, showing signs and symptoms of raining soon. cell group is going to start in one hour time, and i pray that the weather will remain...

Is this truly the road I need to take? I’m crying… my tears just don’t want to stop flowing and I just can’t stop crying too… I don’t want to stop crying… will all my worries disappear? Or will the situation be any better? Nope… nothing changes… but why am I crying? Lord, save me… I’m sorry for not growing in you and not helping others to grow in you too… I’m sorry for being bias towards someone, anyone. I’m really sorry. Thanks for sending someone to comfort me. Thank you so much. I don’t know which word to pick to describe how I feel. I’m blurred. I feel that I’m in total disaster. I pray lord, simply give me the strength I need… only that… no others that I need more… Nobody could and never will understand how I felt. Only he knows. It’s not about what, it’s just respect and simply understanding from others. That’s it. That’s all. My actions. My choices. I’ll take responsibilities for that. Everything. Although nobody might ever read this post of mine, but never mind. It’s not mean...