my life
My shepherd was sharing with me bout testimony that day. Then my task is to write a testimonial of my own to share with others. Here it goes...
Should i start from my childhood? or teenage years? may be childhood is a better choice.
i can remember how daddy and mommy would bring me and er jie to church when we're still very young and ask us to read bible everyday before we sleep. there was a period of time when daddy came up with this idea--sing a children worship song and record it using the old cassette player before we sleep. i love that a lot! i would make daddy go up with me to record or else, i would record on my own and then only i'll sleep... that went on for sometime. i did that out of fun and only for fun! for me, God is still not that real. i didn't really know who he is. to me, he's just a person who daddy told me to believe in, who's the true and living God. but deep down in my heart, i just don't quite understand bout that, can't get the true meaning of it. i wonder why daddy didn't let do things that my friends would, like joining year end camp organise by buddhist association, while all friends would be going! i didn't understand why daddy don't let me eat food that grandma had offer to ancestors and gods of their believe. i didn't underatnd why i should not hold joss sticks that grandma use to pray... i just simply didn't understand why i can't do this, can't do that... but God changes people's heart so gracefully! i started to understand why daddy say so when i started to realize who is the God that daddy is talking about all the time. i was always told by my grandma how she would caned daddy for going to church when he was a little boy, i bet she had something in mind, trying to influence me to give a second thought of who is the God daddy is praising. i go to church regularly and attends chidren class, then youth class when i was in secondary school. at this point of life, God is still like gods of the other religion out there to me. He is simply a symbol of people expressing their believe and faith on earth, seeking peace and protection, and of course, wealth too. slowly, i underdstand why i'm singing to God--to give Him our praise and worship, exalting His name. why do we listen to sermons? as a guideline of life? more than that. He wants us to understand His plan for our lives. He wants us to take hold of the blessings He promised us thousands of years ago. reading bible daily is important but many fail to do so, not to mention me too. reading bible is so boring to me, just so so boring. but God changes people hearts and attitude and finally, i found Him. He's too real and good to be expressed by only words alone.
in my secondary school time, i had a lot of temptations coming my ways. friends around me, words i spoke, computers, television programmes.....distracting my attention, my focus. i used to follow my heart, do things that fit my comfort, ignoring others perception. but then, He intervened my life. i started to realize how i wasted my life, diminishing others and God's mark for me. i wanted a change. i started to pray more. i start to read bible regularly. i started to obey His words. the basic of all this is to truly know who Jesus is. it easy to say than to practice changes in life. many times i still depend on own strength, espcially in my study. after my form 5, that's end of high school, i had good results but the doors to higher instituition are closed. i wanted to do medicine so much that form 6 was my only choice. i didn't know what God had for me in the future. finishing form 6 with a result that i know is not enough to secure me a place in public universities to do medicine frustrated me a lot. i can't see the pathway in front of me. i didn't know which step to take. i didn't know what to do. i felt that i was in a cloudy situation, where eveything seeems to be so blur around. i prayed to God, but nothing seems to come in the view. how? what should i do? where will i be after this? but remember, our God is mighty and powerful. He does all things in His time. patience is all we need.
this is how it went after this:
daddy asked me to apply for gadjah mada university in indonesia and mommy supported. i was reluctant to do so cause i wanted public or local university so much. anyway, i followed daddy's suggestion and sat for university entrance exam. miraculously, i was accepted. i was overjoyed and i didn't know why...may be because finally there was a university who wants me i guess. :) at the same time, i should have gone for an interview in the local university where my freind is currently studying. after considering the expenses daddy and mommy going to spend for me studying in m'sia and i'sia, i accepted the offer from gmu. this is not the end of the story, it's just the begining of the most interesting part. agent(handling my gmu application) told me to apply for scholarship from the ministry of defence online. i checked it and the due date is just a few days more. i applied as fast as i can, but just with a frail of hope in heart that i will get it. i checked online again one/two weeks later and it came out rejected. fine. just go on. things didn't work out that way when i receive a letter asking me to go for an interview for the scholarship. wow! God is seriously doing something. on the day of interview, i found out most of the scholarship holders are malays and they discussed about current issues and topics related to army. Oh my, about army? i was a bit scare cause what i know about them is just too little. with faith, i prayed before going inside with two other guys whom i don't know at that time, and are my course mate currently. the interview was fine till one point where the current issue came to our discussion. the interviewer hit me with this statement: "this is the first time i've heard people coming up with an explanation like this for the problem (food crisis, thanks to my own mouth who brought up the issue when they asked what current issue that we know)", after all three of us gave our own point of view. he gave me a second chance to further solidify why i say so and i just went on and he agreed! thx... hew! one of the interviewer even re-confirm with me my body weight and height (as they have a certain standard for that too). bmi=18.*** just enough i guess. two months later, when i was already here in indonesia, i received call from daddy saying that i suceeded! yeah! happy! now, i do not need to worry bout my expenses here every month, my study fees, my lodging... what a relieve! but blessings from God is not limited to one person, it flows... the two guys who went in with me for the interview received the scholarship too(out of 80 over students who attended the interview, three of us in the same group of interview got it). saw how God's blessing flowed?
story continues though. it just won't stop (if it stops, then you're no more on earth, haha!)
i had a difficult time choosing which church to attend here. i wanted to go to a church where God wants me to. i prayed but i can't find. i can't feel. i can't see. God just put this thought in me: choose the one closest to your spirit. i made up my mind--hope. although i love the other church worship so much, but i don't want to be merely an attender, but i want to be part of the family for the next five years. many may question my choice, why not the church other seniors attending? i just don't know the answer and even if i tell them, there's only a few who can really understand. but the truth is: any church that God place you in, be faithful and obedient. in this church, i can feel that Gos is preparing me for my future, equiping me with His weapons to fight and change the world. but on top of that, i must change myself (as many thought of changing the world, but never thought of changing themselves). i'm glad that i'm accepted to become the official member of hope.
now problems come again. how can i balance up my time between studying and church? ( hope church had a lot of activities to attend... wahahaha!)
Should i start from my childhood? or teenage years? may be childhood is a better choice.
i can remember how daddy and mommy would bring me and er jie to church when we're still very young and ask us to read bible everyday before we sleep. there was a period of time when daddy came up with this idea--sing a children worship song and record it using the old cassette player before we sleep. i love that a lot! i would make daddy go up with me to record or else, i would record on my own and then only i'll sleep... that went on for sometime. i did that out of fun and only for fun! for me, God is still not that real. i didn't really know who he is. to me, he's just a person who daddy told me to believe in, who's the true and living God. but deep down in my heart, i just don't quite understand bout that, can't get the true meaning of it. i wonder why daddy didn't let do things that my friends would, like joining year end camp organise by buddhist association, while all friends would be going! i didn't understand why daddy don't let me eat food that grandma had offer to ancestors and gods of their believe. i didn't underatnd why i should not hold joss sticks that grandma use to pray... i just simply didn't understand why i can't do this, can't do that... but God changes people's heart so gracefully! i started to understand why daddy say so when i started to realize who is the God that daddy is talking about all the time. i was always told by my grandma how she would caned daddy for going to church when he was a little boy, i bet she had something in mind, trying to influence me to give a second thought of who is the God daddy is praising. i go to church regularly and attends chidren class, then youth class when i was in secondary school. at this point of life, God is still like gods of the other religion out there to me. He is simply a symbol of people expressing their believe and faith on earth, seeking peace and protection, and of course, wealth too. slowly, i underdstand why i'm singing to God--to give Him our praise and worship, exalting His name. why do we listen to sermons? as a guideline of life? more than that. He wants us to understand His plan for our lives. He wants us to take hold of the blessings He promised us thousands of years ago. reading bible daily is important but many fail to do so, not to mention me too. reading bible is so boring to me, just so so boring. but God changes people hearts and attitude and finally, i found Him. He's too real and good to be expressed by only words alone.
in my secondary school time, i had a lot of temptations coming my ways. friends around me, words i spoke, computers, television programmes.....distracting my attention, my focus. i used to follow my heart, do things that fit my comfort, ignoring others perception. but then, He intervened my life. i started to realize how i wasted my life, diminishing others and God's mark for me. i wanted a change. i started to pray more. i start to read bible regularly. i started to obey His words. the basic of all this is to truly know who Jesus is. it easy to say than to practice changes in life. many times i still depend on own strength, espcially in my study. after my form 5, that's end of high school, i had good results but the doors to higher instituition are closed. i wanted to do medicine so much that form 6 was my only choice. i didn't know what God had for me in the future. finishing form 6 with a result that i know is not enough to secure me a place in public universities to do medicine frustrated me a lot. i can't see the pathway in front of me. i didn't know which step to take. i didn't know what to do. i felt that i was in a cloudy situation, where eveything seeems to be so blur around. i prayed to God, but nothing seems to come in the view. how? what should i do? where will i be after this? but remember, our God is mighty and powerful. He does all things in His time. patience is all we need.
this is how it went after this:
daddy asked me to apply for gadjah mada university in indonesia and mommy supported. i was reluctant to do so cause i wanted public or local university so much. anyway, i followed daddy's suggestion and sat for university entrance exam. miraculously, i was accepted. i was overjoyed and i didn't know why...may be because finally there was a university who wants me i guess. :) at the same time, i should have gone for an interview in the local university where my freind is currently studying. after considering the expenses daddy and mommy going to spend for me studying in m'sia and i'sia, i accepted the offer from gmu. this is not the end of the story, it's just the begining of the most interesting part. agent(handling my gmu application) told me to apply for scholarship from the ministry of defence online. i checked it and the due date is just a few days more. i applied as fast as i can, but just with a frail of hope in heart that i will get it. i checked online again one/two weeks later and it came out rejected. fine. just go on. things didn't work out that way when i receive a letter asking me to go for an interview for the scholarship. wow! God is seriously doing something. on the day of interview, i found out most of the scholarship holders are malays and they discussed about current issues and topics related to army. Oh my, about army? i was a bit scare cause what i know about them is just too little. with faith, i prayed before going inside with two other guys whom i don't know at that time, and are my course mate currently. the interview was fine till one point where the current issue came to our discussion. the interviewer hit me with this statement: "this is the first time i've heard people coming up with an explanation like this for the problem (food crisis, thanks to my own mouth who brought up the issue when they asked what current issue that we know)", after all three of us gave our own point of view. he gave me a second chance to further solidify why i say so and i just went on and he agreed! thx... hew! one of the interviewer even re-confirm with me my body weight and height (as they have a certain standard for that too). bmi=18.*** just enough i guess. two months later, when i was already here in indonesia, i received call from daddy saying that i suceeded! yeah! happy! now, i do not need to worry bout my expenses here every month, my study fees, my lodging... what a relieve! but blessings from God is not limited to one person, it flows... the two guys who went in with me for the interview received the scholarship too(out of 80 over students who attended the interview, three of us in the same group of interview got it). saw how God's blessing flowed?
story continues though. it just won't stop (if it stops, then you're no more on earth, haha!)
i had a difficult time choosing which church to attend here. i wanted to go to a church where God wants me to. i prayed but i can't find. i can't feel. i can't see. God just put this thought in me: choose the one closest to your spirit. i made up my mind--hope. although i love the other church worship so much, but i don't want to be merely an attender, but i want to be part of the family for the next five years. many may question my choice, why not the church other seniors attending? i just don't know the answer and even if i tell them, there's only a few who can really understand. but the truth is: any church that God place you in, be faithful and obedient. in this church, i can feel that Gos is preparing me for my future, equiping me with His weapons to fight and change the world. but on top of that, i must change myself (as many thought of changing the world, but never thought of changing themselves). i'm glad that i'm accepted to become the official member of hope.
now problems come again. how can i balance up my time between studying and church? ( hope church had a lot of activities to attend... wahahaha!)
(I'm currently attending MSI now :) )
i know that with my own strength i won't be able to go any further than where i am now. i prayed. i want God to give me His strength. only with His strength i can do all things. He answers prayers. although i'm not as smart as others, although i don't have time as much as others to study, although i don't score or obtain results as good as others, but i believe in him. He provides me with what i need. it's hard to surrender everything to God. it takes more than faith to do so. it's not leaving everything to God, it's believing in Him to take you through things by playing your role well, as sons and daughters obeying their parents in everything.
i've experienced His love for me and would like others to experience it too.
to anyone who reads this, don't hesitate to receive Him into your life as your saviour. His love is always there for us, to receive us and forgive us when we surrender to him.
Christians is more than just name, more than a religion. it is acknowledging God's existance and sovereignty and become Christ followers.
i believe God has more for me and i will patiently wait for him, preparing myself to receive His plan for me in my life.
i know that with my own strength i won't be able to go any further than where i am now. i prayed. i want God to give me His strength. only with His strength i can do all things. He answers prayers. although i'm not as smart as others, although i don't have time as much as others to study, although i don't score or obtain results as good as others, but i believe in him. He provides me with what i need. it's hard to surrender everything to God. it takes more than faith to do so. it's not leaving everything to God, it's believing in Him to take you through things by playing your role well, as sons and daughters obeying their parents in everything.
i've experienced His love for me and would like others to experience it too.
to anyone who reads this, don't hesitate to receive Him into your life as your saviour. His love is always there for us, to receive us and forgive us when we surrender to him.
Christians is more than just name, more than a religion. it is acknowledging God's existance and sovereignty and become Christ followers.
i believe God has more for me and i will patiently wait for him, preparing myself to receive His plan for me in my life.
Comments
wonderful testi !