Desire God. 
Seek God.
Trust God. 
Love God.



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My Daddy and His Battle

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Maybe there are people out there wondering, or maybe not, that what happened to my daddy. It took me ages to write this blog. I just don't have the courage to pen (or type) this down. Now I think it's time for me to do so. In the last quarter of 2013, daddy was complaining of bloatedness. Stomach upset. Altered bowel habits. He was generally feeling unwell. He went to a few doctors, but none able to tell him what was wrong. Their prescriptions just didn't help. When I finally went home in January 2014 for good, I started to note the changes in daddy. He's thinner. He has a big tummy. Loss of appetite. His mood is up and down. He is generally unwell. Everyone at home is worried but none speak it out except for mommy. He finally went to another doctor and a clearer diagnosis is shown. Blood test and scans were done. He was referred to specialist in KL. Again, more test, even biopsy was done. Two possibilities, either cancer or extrapulmonary TB. He was started on TB m
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Is this truly the road I need to take? I’m crying… my tears just don’t want to stop flowing and I just can’t stop crying too… I don’t want to stop crying… will all my worries disappear? Or will the situation be any better? Nope… nothing changes… but why am I crying? Lord, save me… I’m sorry for not growing in you and not helping others to grow in you too… I’m sorry for being bias towards someone, anyone. I’m really sorry. Thanks for sending someone to comfort me. Thank you so much. I don’t know which word to pick to describe how I feel. I’m blurred. I feel that I’m in total disaster. I pray lord, simply give me the strength I need… only that… no others that I need more… Nobody could and never will understand how I felt. Only he knows. It’s not about what, it’s just respect and simply understanding from others. That’s it. That’s all. My actions. My choices. I’ll take responsibilities for that. Everything. Although nobody might ever read this post of mine, but never mind. It’s not mean
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I think this is the first time I blog about a drama i watched. Its been long since i followed a drama non-stop from beginning till end within that period it was aired. On Call 36 hours being the latest and the one i like most. I would love to share a few quotes which personally i feel are good and inspiring ones. Hope they might bring you the feeling and encouragement i got from them. =) (if you really need translation, please let me know and i'll try best to help =D ) “坦白说，我当初也不知道为什么要做医生，打算在大学玩几年，可是当了实习医生后，开始觉得做医生一点都不好玩。无论我们当医生的原因是什么，所有病人却只有一个期望，就是希望我们能治好他们，期望虽然简单，但要实践并不容易。” “我不是法官，谁有罪谁无罪不关我的事，谁的存活率高我就先救谁。” “不要用你个人的道德标准，去断定一个病人是否应该救，我们是医生，任何病人在我们手上，都应该一视同仁尽力去救。” “生死有命，如果那—天真的要来，就随它来吧。最重要是把握现在。” “就算有多少个期望落空，我们也可以拥有新的期望，直到生命的最后一刻。” “我们是医生，并非神仙，也不是超人，我们都是普通人，每个人都必须经过生老病死。” “无论期望带给你安慰，快乐，还是伤心，能够期望与被期望都是幸福的事，因为我们还生存着。” “在今後的日子，无论富贵贫穷、快乐悲伤、健康疾病，我都愿意一生一世爱你，守护你，终生不渝，你愿意吗？” “也许期望会带来痛苦，但正因为有期望，就算有多痛苦我们都可以熬过去，所以即使多么害怕失望，多么怕痛，也不可以失去期待。” “我最近终於明白了一个道理，原来健康的人不一定快乐，有病的人也不一定不快乐。虽然我有这个病，可是这段期间我所得
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