Tender Loving Care

Maybe there are people out there wondering, or maybe not, that what happened to my daddy. It took me ages to write this blog. I just don't have the courage to pen (or type) this down. Now I think it's time for me to do so. In the last quarter of 2013, daddy was complaining of bloatedness. Stomach upset. Altered bowel habits. He was generally feeling unwell. He went to a few doctors, but none able to tell him what was wrong. Their prescriptions just didn't help. When I finally went home in January 2014 for good, I started to note the changes in daddy. He's thinner. He has a big tummy. Loss of appetite. His mood is up and down. He is generally unwell. Everyone at home is worried but none speak it out except for mommy. He finally went to another doctor and a clearer diagnosis is shown. Blood test and scans were done. He was referred to specialist in KL. Again, more test, even biopsy was done. Two possibilities, either cancer or extrapulmonary TB. He was started on TB m...

Third Sunday of June Father's day Everyone's busy wishing their dad Giving and celebrating this day This time daddy can't hear me calling him and wishing him happy father's day Suddenly Everything changed Though everything seems to remain the same But you are not here, daddy I can't call you through phone I can't reach you through my shouting in the house Who would have predicted the last time i wish you happy father's day was last year? God does, though I can't hold back my tears and grief When i look at your room Your table Your books Your writings Daddy I miss you Blessed Father's Day I know you're safe ad well in our Father's house in heaven I love you

Staying at home waiting for a letter that will determine the start of my work is slowly forming a weird effect on me. I got bored of doing this and that repeatedly, which is wake up, eat, sleep, read, wash dish, clean, sometimes cook, browse internet, walk the dogs-pixie and daisy, bathe, sitting there stoning, play games, and of course not to forget, texting on whatsapp... Hence, when this routine kicks in, bored-ness accumulate, it really has negative effects on me -  headache... unable to sleep well during nap... Guess i should and need desperately do something to change it... a MUST to change... :)

Food- what is its value to you? I'm currently in army camp for my interview as military doctor. (Ommit the details bout this kay.. Updates later.. :p)  Here, we have a lot of canditates all coming and want to work with the army. Mostly guys, with only 10% girls.  The main thing i observe so far is that the waste of food after breakfast, lunch, dinner. I know this is not a new or some shocking situation to be talked or discussed about. I can't stand my eyes looking at  the dustin outside the canteen piling up with food! Rice, chicken, fish, beef, vege...  You guys and girls are graduates, considered highly educated. But why is your mentality like a uneducated person? Or even worse, i think a low or uneducated person values food more than you do. So where is your status?  This also applies to those outside who throw away food without feeling any guilt.  I can't and won't be able to understand that act.  There's a lot of people out there in the world who ...

I wonder, did I changed too much or the world is still the same? Standing still? Or is it the other way round? The world has changed and became foreign to me. But me, at the moment is still the unchanged one? I dislike and I can't voice out.  Blogging it out is all I can do.  When will people open theirs ears, listen, and try to be less selfish?  Am I dreaming a bit too big?  Questions over questions, and the answer lays hidden...

I've never ever encounter humans selfishness that make me so geram (or you can call it upset mixed with anger). Seriously, when they need something that concen themselves, every other people around them looks unimportant and should be giving ways to them.  It's true that humans show their true colour after knowing them for some time.  I totally agree with that.  Life is a lesson and I'm learning. Let this be my chance to learn how to deal with these type of people and learn patience. Hence, not becoming one of those with that quality.  Lord, continue to be my strength and guide me with Your Holy Spirit. :) 

Wonder why it's titled "Wonderful world"?  Let me tell you a simple reason for this title - the world is really big and there's endless stuff for one to explore.  On my journey to another hospital for my clinical rotation, every morning, i didn't fail to see something that either put a smile on my face, empathy in my heart, or even patience for myself.  A simple smile from a mother to thank the policeman for helping her daughter cross the busy road to school this morning makes me feel warm. :)  A girl i saw on the second day had facial distortion. I may not find out what's the reason behind it, but it squeezes my heart. What am I to complain about life? There's no perfection. You just have to treasure everything in life. It's the greatest and best gift from above. :)  My friend drove me and her there every morning. I'm really grateful of her big favour. Thanks. Driving needs patience, especially with other vehicles on the road. :) The scenery, gree...

Blessings come in ways you can't predict.  Prepare yourself and be brave to embrace it when it's coming your way.  :) Be thankful and always be positive... Even if you shed tears, let it flow, wipe it and stand up stronger... Thanks Lord for everything! ^_^ 

As old as i am, I've never felt jealous of someone i care.  Jealous of things people have yes, but it goes away seconds after that. This time it's not. Sighhhhhhhh... The person i always share my thoughts and feelings heard me and just can't stop laughing and said: you also will have this day... =_= You're really the worm in my stomach (you know who you are) Anyway, my left brain is superb clear that jealousy isn't healthy for me, but my right brain just let the emotion takes over me. Sighhhhhh.... (Again)  Time's flying, and this time, it strikes me more and more that it is flying... I don't want to loose anything precious in my life.  I want to treasure everything i have, that God has given me. (Taken from Crosswalk.com)  Suddenly remember this: if God ask me to go, be ready to change my plans. =) Ps: will my emotion resume to normal cheerful me after sleeping? :) prayer is my best companion, as He's watching over me... :)

早上醒来真的不想起床。 但躺在床上又不知该做什么。。。 还是逼自己去跑步。。。 感觉还不错嘛。。。 Ps: 我就是我，性格难改。而你，就是我的推动力。但你可知道吗？ ：）

Those babies whose breathing aren't adequate and need ventilation or noninvasive positive airway pressure to maintain adequate oxygenation will only have two outcomes: survive or plus (passed away). The few times that i was called to bagging, the babies either got the automatic ventilator ready to be used for them, or the sad truth, plus during my shift to bag. Seeing babies who were so pure, know nothing about this world, came and left in just that split moments, reminds me of one main thing: God's love knows no boundaries.  He loves us all, no matter who we are. He knows us way before we were even formed in our mother's womb. He has a purpose for each and everyone of us here on earth. The least i can do for the babies is to pray for them during my bagging. Life and death lies in God's hand. We might not able to understand His plans, but simply trust in Him!  Isaiah 55:8,9 "For my thoughts are not your thought, neither are your ways my ways," ...

Roman 12 : 9 - 21 9  Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.    10  Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves.    11  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor,  serving the Lord.    12  Be joyful in hope,  patient in affliction,  faithful in prayer.    13  Share with the Lord’s people who are in need.  Practice hospitality .   14  Bless those who persecute you;  bless and do not curse.    15  Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn .    16  Live in harmony with one another.  Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not think you are superior.   17  Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.   18  If it is possible, as far...

A few days back, i received an apology from a friend of mine for something happened sometime ago, but i've got over it and almost forgotten it. But, receiving the apology makes me review and rethink about myself. Do i have the courage to apologize to someone i hurt? Have i ask for apologies? One incident that vividly haunts me last time when a pastor from Philippines shared about asking forgiveness from the person, no matter how long that incident has happened, led me to ask forgiveness from my dad and mom about something i did. i was an angry girl. i easily got irritated. i showed them no matter what the timing is. That is bad. real bad. Collecting my courage, i picked up the phone and called them after thinking over and over for some time. Tear welled up and fell. but i can say this; i really felt so much better. i learned from it. i felt relieved. And now, the apologies i received made me re-think - did i hurt someone unknowingly? How to apologize? There's so...

25 years ago, He chose the date and day for me to be born on this earth. 25 years has gone, and I've come to know Him. 25 years of life. Ups. Downs. Joy. Sadness. Rise. Fall. Happiness. Tears. Obedience. Stubbornness. Smile. Anger. Like. Dislike. Active. Sleepy. The list can go on and on. =) 25 years, of course, that's a long time... On this day, it's not only about me, but those around me as well. My family. My friends. My spiritual family. My patients. And all those 生命中的过客 (passer-by in life). It's with and through them that i learn what life is. It's with them that i lived my 25 years. They're my support and love. So, i would love to take this opportunity to thank them. "Thank you so much!" For the One who gave me my life, thanks for being gracious to me all this time. Thanks for showing me what love is. Help me learn how to love. And live a life that please You. Thanks for everything Lord, Jesus! In the year...

Mind is the place or centre where you make your decision.  Since i cant resist myself from it, i have to cut the source then.  Remember, decision made, don't compromise or even doubt it, when it's the right one.  The mind is really powerful, and is always in the middle of a battle. :) Ps: that's why i need Jesus in my life... 

有时就是有那种感觉。 对，就是它。 喜。 会自己笑。 ：）

Desire God.  Seek God. Trust God.  Love God.

Daddy always says: "When everyone celebrates Teacher's Day, it will be like they're also celebrating my Wedding Anniversary." First of all, Happy Teacher's Day to all teachers out there!  I've never really post anything about this, but would like to thanks all my teachers from the bottom of my heart.  As a baby, thanks grandma, daddy, mommy, uncles and aunties.  As a kindergarten goer, thanks to teacher Chua and teachers (sorry i cant remember the names) and plus the above (hehe!) .  As a primary school kid, thanks to all my primary school (SJK(C)Yuk Chai) teachers, some whom have retired, and some still teaching, plus list above... (List of techers drastically increased, :p)  As a secondary school teenager, thanks to all my secondary school (SMK Sultan Yahya Petra (1) And SM Chung Hwa) teachers, plus list above again... (List increased exponentially! Haha!) Now, an undergraduates, the list is even longer... All my lecturers and doctors, an...

This time of the year for 5 years i've always been away from home.  This year a bit different. I was home before the big day, and left home a day before it.  Thus, we celebrated Mommy's big day a day earlier... We went for dinner before i left... When i was in Obstetrics and Gynaecology department, i saw how hard it was for a mom to give birth to a baby. At that, it suddenly strike me - how did mom gave birth to me almost 25 years ago?  I was the heaviest (3.8kg! imagine that!) among 4 and the first child as well.  Did mom cried? Did she screamed? What happened during the delivery process?  Hence, when i got home, i seized the opportunity to ask her. Dad was around.  Mom hadn't answer, dad answered first.  "Your mom is like super woman, she didn't cry or even shout, she just calmly gave birth to you, all 4."  Mom just smile and agreed with dad.  I kept asking, "Not even a single scream of pain? Don't you feel very pain during the womb contrac...

Was really in holidays mood, as you can see it. Last day of IKM, going back home tomorrow, and my heart is so excited to have my nails paint. :) Da da da da,,,,, Me and Eshabell's nails.... Hehe! :)